surviving abuse

 

For a lot of my life I have squashed and suppressed all emotion – there was a lot anger and self hatred though, for various reasons.   I learned very quickly in life to get control of myself, to force my emotions into non-existence.  That was a survival mechanism. And it worked, until it didn’t.   

There’s lots of self help books on “defining yourself” – whatever that means.  I’m seeking less definition.   On having less boundaries, and being okay with that, on having less soul-crushing emotional control, but also not having an emotional breakdown.  It’s hard to find a balance, so for me, it’s baby-steps into unknown emotional territory.  

I try very hard to avoid labels.  Not to label myself, and not to label other people also. Labels come with expectations and excuses.  

-Terry

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