I smoke pot. It’s not a huge thing, but it is a form of medication for me. It really helps with mood stabilization and anxiety. When I say anxiety I mean usually just the physiological symptoms, like the sweating, rapid pulse, restlessness. Those symptoms are from my amphetamines, a bad habit of drinking a pot of coffee a day, and pent-up energy. Weed helps to round out all the hard edges.
I don’t drink much, I don’t smoke cigs, I don’t spend frivolous money on anything really. I allow myself this one “addiction” because…I don’t know I just do. People say to be gentle with myself because of the trauma I’ve had, and this is my way of being gentle with myself. Am I just being a delusional addict justifying bad behaviour?