Lorelai’s story

Trigger warnings for sexual assault, abuse, and mental illness!

I suppose I’m just wanting to get the word out that rock bottom doesn’t have to be permanent.

Age 11- stepfather dies. I was the last one to see him alive. I was raped. never told anyone. became anorexic until age 14. no one noticed.

Age 14 – stopped being anorexic. began secretly drinking. people noticed.

Got my first boyfriend at age 16, stopped drinking. Got engaged and bought a cute little town house with him at age 18. I was finally happy.

When I was 19 (he was 21) he began drinking and became abusive. that lasted until I was 21 (he was 23). he had me pinned down and was choking me and he told me that I didn’t get out of HIS house right then he would do worse to me. he meant it. I never saw him again. I left all my things there. I began drinking again. the bar became my second home. I started hooking up with random strangers every night for a year. then I met my next boyfriend.

I dated him for 4 months before I found out he was a drug addict. and instead of running the other direction, I choose to stay and smoke meth with him. I dated him for two years. he was abusive too, but this time I fought back. until he snapped my wrist, slashed my tires, and cut my break lines. I got fired from my job for always showing up late. and showing up with bruises and always crying while I was there. need up getting two DUI’S in 3 months time. so I lost my license, and he destroyed my car.  I said no more drugs and I stopped cold turkey. he checked into a rehab. when he got kicked out of rehab for a 3rd time I finally left him for good. found out a couple months later that I was pregnant by him.

So now I’m almost 26 with a two year old daughter. no driver license, no car, no job. living back at home with my mom.

Some days are fine. Other days I have to literally force myself to get the hell out of bed and get a shower. I know depression is constant ups and downs with good days and bad days. Right now is honestly the longest set of “down” time I’ve ever had. And I don’t know what’s causing it or how to get out of it. My anxiety – I get frustrated and impatient like crazy easily, my therapists said that’s a form of anxiety.

-Lorelai, a pseudonym based off the character from Gilmore Girls. Lorelai has PTSD, depression, and anxiety.


One thought on “Lorelai’s story

  1. You are 26, you have your whole life ahead of you. You can do this. You have a daughter to give you something worth struggling for. She needs you. You need you. I am glad to hear you have a therapist. That is a great start. Little steps can take us a long way…just keep at it.


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