This may be triggering for its description of psychosis, suicide, stigma and hospitalization!
Going to psych definitely helped me. I made a few friends and boosted my self esteem by socialising. It was like being back in school, which I miss a lot. I also learnt about ‘cognitive distortions’ in group CBT, which I use every day to stop unhelpful thinking patterns in their tracks.
In January I half-heartedly tried to kill myself due to the stress from university applications plus being sick of psychosis. I swallowed all my antidepressants, got turned away from the local off-license for being underage, and walked to a bridge over railways tracks. I then went completely psychotic and saw a woman in a white furry jacket whom I believed was waiting for me to pass out so she could take me away. I called my local crisis helpline, admitted I overdosed, and got picked up by an ambulance.
In hospital, I was put on 1-to-1 with a mental health nurse, whom I threatened with a broken toothbrush, demanding she leave me alone. They moved me to a psych ward 50 miles away from home.
I was treated pretty well by the staff in psych, but the patients were another matter. Most of them had personality disorders, which aren’t pretty. Lots of girls were aggressive and I narrowly avoided getting beaten up a few times.
I made the mistake of telling a few people about my stint in psych. Now everyone I know knows, including those who would use it to ridicule me behind my back. Some of my closer friends have drifted away since as well, which makes me very sad.
Tag with: psychosis, psychiatry, hospitalization, paranoia, mental illness stigma, suicide, suicide attempt, hermione