Going to Psych

This may be triggering for its description of psychosis, suicide, stigma and hospitalization!

Going to psych definitely helped me. I made a few friends and boosted my self esteem by socialising. It was like being back in school, which I miss a lot. I also learnt about ‘cognitive distortions’ in group CBT, which I use every day to stop unhelpful thinking patterns in their tracks.

In January I half-heartedly tried to kill myself due to the stress from university applications plus being sick of psychosis. I swallowed all my antidepressants, got turned away from the local off-license for being underage, and walked to a bridge over railways tracks. I then went completely psychotic and saw a woman in a white furry jacket whom I believed was waiting for me to pass out so she could take me away. I called my local crisis helpline, admitted I overdosed, and got picked up by an ambulance.

In hospital, I was put on 1-to-1 with a mental health nurse, whom I threatened with a broken toothbrush, demanding she leave me alone. They moved me to a psych ward 50 miles away from home.

I was treated pretty well by the staff in psych, but the patients were another matter. Most of them had personality disorders, which aren’t pretty. Lots of girls were aggressive and I narrowly avoided getting beaten up a few times.

I made the mistake of telling a few people about my stint in psych. Now everyone I know knows, including those who would use it to ridicule me behind my back. Some of my closer friends have drifted away since as well, which makes me very sad.

-Hermione

 

Tag with: psychosis, psychiatry, hospitalization, paranoia, mental illness stigma, suicide, suicide attempt, hermione

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