Being Psychotic and Paranoid

This may be triggering for its description of psychosis and paranoia.

My psychosis is characterised by paranoia. I think paranoia should be my middle name as it totally controls my life. I have this constant stream of thoughts running through my brain saying weird things like ‘they are trying to control you’, ‘the food is drugged’, or ‘they are trying to fiddle around in your brain’. Whether I believe these thoughts or not totally depends on how I am feeling that day: on good days I can brush it off but on bad days I have periods of psychosis.

What makes a day good is the lack of paranoid thoughts and ease of their dismissal. On bad days I am so terrified of certain people that I cannot stand to hear their voice or even see them in my peripheral vision.

The only thing that helps with my paranoia is dismissing it, which is normally hard and sometimes impossible. Being alone helps.

My family treat me very well, however. The label ‘psychosis’ gives them an explanation for the strange things I do sometimes, so they no longer get angry at me for being unusual.



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